Friday, April 20, 2012

Self-deprecating thoughts

I'm feeling pretty technologically overwhelmed right now.

I don't know if it's normal to have this kind of inferiority complex--or if I'm just in some weird (lasting) mood, but I feel like:

I'm not doing enough to contribute to the well-being of others, humanitarian issues, general do-gooderness.
I'm not well enough informed about political and social issues, here in Uganda, at home, and elsewhere in the world.
I don't know what I should be doing for work or how to improve my daily situation to feel useful in more ways.
I can't write well enough, nor do I even understand social media well enough to create any useful blog, site etc, that could share said intelligent information, assuming I could actually figure out how to measure it in a consumable way (articles, photos, etc)
I feel like my education and experience thus far has been wasted. I have a Masters Degree in Communications, I've had professional jobs for ten + years, and for what?

When work is slow, I sit here in front of the computer, and don't even know where to start. Do I look for a new job? Do I start researching places to move to that I might enjoy living in more? Do I find volunteer opportunities so I can stop looking inwardly so heavily, invest in others and try to take it day-by-day? When I read other people's blogs, photo diaries, and news reviews, I feel like I should pull down this blog and give up.

Am I just lazy and hate working? All I can think of when I ask myself "what is it I most like to do?" are strange, random things:

playing soccer
being outside, preferably in the sun
creating perfect playlists (would gladly accept a job as a movie soundtrack compilation artist)
being near the ocean, on a beach, in the water (but have an irrational fear of sharks, nonetheless)
learning languages, being somewhere where I see myself improving in that regard
speaking Spanish
travelling to new, fascinating places
dancing
eating dessert and delicious foods in general

None of these things are jobs! How can I be professionally unemployed?!

Do other people feel this lost all the time?

No comments:

Post a Comment